I’m too tired to make a more topical post, and in fact I’m having a hard enough time as it is writing this one. Rereading and editing seem like momentous tasks. But regardless, I wanted to share an epiphany I had during my day today.
Last night I had the most terrible night’s sleep; I didn’t fall asleep until well into the am and then I woke up at 5ish feeling most terribly naseaus. I managed to get another hour of sleep in there before the alarm went off for volunteering.
I really didn’t want to go.
I still felt terrible, so the idea of gutting dead things and manual labour didn’t at all appeal to me. So for five minutes I debated it, lying in bed wishing I was sleeping.
But I got up, got dressed, forced down some tea and porridge, and went on my way. As a result, I actually had the most amazing day. I overcame some mental blocks I’d had with the birds before, like the fear of injury if I put my hands too close while feeding them. I got bitten, yes. But so what?
This is the very core of my life philosophy: Life is hard. Life is painful. You might not enjoy it all the time. It might be dangerous. But doing difficult, painful, unenjoyable and dangerous things show you what you’re capable of overcoming. It might be hard to get started, but you’ll be glad you did it.
So I got bitten by a Bengal Eagle Owl while feeding him. Whatever. I now know that being bitten by this owl feels a certain way and, while it was a little painful, I now know that the fear of what it would be like to be bitten was worse than the bite. And that was an amazing epiphany to have had. Now I can put myself to the task of feeding the more intimidating birds without being paralysed by the fear of what would happen.
And all because I dragged myself out of bed this morning.