Ok, so just after posting my spiel about the apocalypse, we found ourselves in a rather apocalyptic situation: FLOODING OF ALL THE ROADS EVERYWHERE. We were driving from our village in Fife to see The Husband’s family in Perth. What is usually a 30-minute scenic journey became an hour and a half of white-knuckled danger (with subsequent adrenalin high and slightly hysterical laughter!).
It’s the typical problem of snow that hasn’t really melted, plus torrential rain and wind. Drains aren’t clear, rivers and lochs break their banks, and driving becomes much more of an extreme sport than you’d bargained for.
But through it all, there is a hero of the hour. And this is for her:
To Our Tiny Purple Car
Edna scoffs at danger –
Ha! She fear it not –
When hills are steep
And ways are fraught.
Every peril in our path
From snow to mud
Rain, potholes, ice
And the latest – flood!
We saw the road ahead
Choked by nearby loch
Its waters run over-ground
But Edna laughed and mocked.
Call this a flood?!
She seem’d to say
Her engine roaring
Like a lupine bay.
And indeed, like a puddle
Over which we soar’d,
Past loch, hill and field
and through a nearby ford.
Ahead a sign warns:
Flood! and others heed
By slowing to a crawl
But not our steed!
Aha! She cries
Revving high
While others crawl
Edna flies!
Across this inland lake
Others stop and stare
Too timid by far
Too afraid to dare.
But Edna, laughing still,
Says, You Dolts and Fools!
Your chassis is taller than I
To take you across these pools!
And thus we exited
Back onto drier street
Shaming those onlookers
Into attempting the same feat.
And so my advice to you,
If the Apocalypse is truly nigh:
Find yourself a Nissan dealership
And a Micra you should buy.
True story.
To Our Tiny Purple Car
Edna scoffs at danger –
Ha! She fear it not –
When hills are steep
And ways are fraught.
Every peril in our path
From snow to mud
Rain, potholes, ice
And the latest – flood!
We saw the road ahead
Choked by nearby loch
Its waters run over-ground
But Edna laughed and mocked.
Call this a flood?!
She seem’d to say
Her engine roaring
Like a lupine bay.
And indeed, like a puddle
Over which we soar’d,
Past loch, hill and field
and through a nearby ford.
Ahead a sign warns:
Flood! and others heed
By slowing to a crawl
But not our steed!
Aha! She cries
Revving high
While others crawl
Edna flies!
Across this inland lake
Others stop and stare
Too timid by far
Too afraid to dare.
But Edna, laughing still,
Says, You Dolts and Fools!
Your chassis is taller than I
To take you across these pools!
And thus we exited
Back onto drier street
Shaming those onlookers
Into attempting the same feat.
And so my advice to you,
If the Apocalypse is truly nigh:
Find yourself a Nissan dealership
And a Micra you should buy.
Arielle K Bosworth 